Harry Potter: A Handful Of Colors
by alix.jenna
Summary: In practically every Harry Potter story out there, JK Rowling, or someone less famous, the storyline revolves around Harry. Now it’s the other students of Hogwarts turn to share their stories. A mix of teenage hormones and magic make for a good laugh.
1. Chapter One: Horray For Teenage Hormones

Hogwarts: **Hurray For Teenage Hormones!**

Draco Malfoy sat and stared at each Hogwarts house table in turn. Hufflepuff, the house of wimps and losers, Draco thought to himself. He watched as Justin Finch-Fletchley knocked over Hannah Abbot's pumpkin juice and she screamed so loud that the teachers turned to see what happened. Yup, defiantly pathetic wimps and losers, Draco thought again. His gaze wandered over to the Ravenclaw table. 'The brain train' Draco recalled hearing Timothy Nott call them the year before. Almost everyone at that table was trying to read a very large book and eat their breakfast at the same time, most of them unsuccessfully. He tried to refrain from looking at the Gryffindor table, they made him sick. All of them with their cocky I can do anything attitudes and wild adventures. They never got in trouble either, unless of course they where in Professor Snape's class, he hated them just as much, maybe even more so than Draco did. But it was no use; his eyes turn and rest on a couple of 2nd years sitting on the end. They were trying desperately to see something on the other end of the table. Amused by their efforts he followed their gaze to find the Weasley twins dangling a large spider in front of their brother, who sat whimpering low in his chair. As Draco watched them he began to chuckle, Ron defiantly did not belong in Gryffindor if he was scared of a spider. Then the spider vanished from one of their hands.

"Hey! Hermione, chill out we were just having some fun"

Hermione Granger. Draco scanned her up and down, standing there with her hands on hips giving Fred and George looks that could kill.

"Oh honestly, both of you. Go away; we are trying to have a decent conversation here." She said sitting back down.

Draco didn't understand why he didn't like her. He knew she was in Gryffindor and a mudblood, but why wasn't he attracted to her? Every other boy in school was; her dark brown eyes, long brown hair (which she straightened everyday), and slender figure. Maybe he was gay.

Someone got up and walked right in front of him, Lavender Brown. She was accompanied by her best friend Parvati Patil. Nope, not gay, Draco thought. He knew he was attracted to Lavender, she was by far prettier than Hermione, in fact she would probably be the most beautiful girl in the school.

"Lavender!" a voice called out behind her. "Lave, love, listen I'm sorry but…"

Lavender wiped around, her long blonde hair fanning out and flying over her shoulder. "Sorry" she spat at her boyfriend Seamus Finnigan, narrowing her bright blue eyes ", doesn't cut it. I'm sorry too Seamus. I'm sorry you blew it, I have just had enough. I'm sick of you and your stupid…" Draco cursed silently as someone called his name loudly in his ear. "Forget it, its so over" Lavender finished sharply. Seamus, whose ears were now a deep red, called her a rude word and stormed off.

"It's alright Lave, he's is like so not worth your time" Parvati stared consoling her friend (though Draco saw no reason, it was Lavender who broke up with Seamus). Lavender turned to leave then stopped, she looked right at Draco. He turned his head quickly towards Pansy Parkinson who was throwing a fit because he had not answered her.

"Knock, knock!"

"Who's there?"

"Me"

"Me who?"

"Me! Jack ass, me!"

No one laughed.

"Harry, teach me a good joke" Ron hissed in Harry's ear. "One that will leave the ladies begging for more"

"What's black and blue and red all over?" Harry said lifelessly.

"What?" Ron asked getting just a little too excited for Harry's liking.

"A newspaper"

"Yoo hoo, ladies! What's black and blue and red all over?" Ron asked smiling.

"You if you don't shut up" Parvati said, Ron turned to her.

"Har, har" Ron snapped back. "Look it's the little mermaid"

She didn't even try to hold back her laughter. Letting her shoulders shake and her mouth curl she burst into a fit of giggles. Feeling stupid Ron turned back to Harry and Hermione, but they weren't there. Strange Ron thought, very strange.

Hermione was quite shocked when Harry grabbed her hand and asked if she were feeling naughty.

"Harry, where are we…" she started to ask, before her cut her off.

They turned one more corner and stopped. She leaded against the wall for support and Harry began to kiss her. Hermione moaned and wrapped her hands around his waist for support as her knees buckled. He was such an amazing kisser, probably because he always applied just the right amount of presser. Disappointment flooded her as soon as her pulled away and motioned her to follow him towards a door just in front of him.

"Remember the little talk we had the other day?" He asked her stopping just out side the door.

Thinking for just a moment before she nodded Hermione wondered what they could possibly be doing at the extra hospital wing. Then it donned on her.

"Oh, you wanna…" Harry smiled, and began to turn the door handle.

Instantly her smile vanished and she froze to the spot.

"Crap" a male voice came out from the dark room. Harry turned around to see George Weasley lying in one of the beds.

"What are you doing here?" Harry asked clueless. But just as he finished a head poked out from under the covers.

"KATIE!"

"Shsss" Fred called from another bed.

"FRED!" but he too was with a girl.

"ANGELINA!"

Fred smiled at Harry and Hermione. "Grab a bed" he said pointing to the other side of the room, where at least 10 more hospital beds stood empty. Harry and Hermione, still in shock headed towards the closest bed.

"You'll need to be naked" George pointed out. Obediently Harry got naked.

"Oh wow" Angelina said staring. Hermione slowly followed Harry's example.

"Ooooo" George said, also staring.

"Now get in to the bed" Katie said smacking George.

"And Harry your suppose to take you're…"

"I KNOW WHAT TO DO!"

After a couple seconds Fred, Angelina, George and Katie went back to what they'd been doing.

"Hey where are you going?" Fred called out. Harry and Hermione were fully dressed and heading for the door.

"To throw up!" Hermione said over her shoulder.

"Ron" Harry said sitting down in his seat next to Hermione. "We walked in on your brothers having sex"

"I always thought they were gay"

"With Angelina Johnson and Katie Bell"

"Oh." Ron said disappointed. "Oh, OH! GROSS!"

4


	2. Chapter Two: With Good Taste Comes Bad L...

Hogwarts: **With Good Taste Comes Bad Luck**

Lavender stared in the mirror for nearly an hour before Hermione told her to turn the damn light off. She had not actually been doing anything. Just thinking about why Malfoy had been staring at her like that in the Great Hell that morning. Malfoy, as he's known to everyone at Hogwarts, was an ass. All the Gryffindor's hated him, and she thought it was because he hated all of them. But this morning he had been watching her with a look of pure interest, which was rare; Malfoy hardly ever had any expression on his face. He liked people not being able to tell what he was thinking.

"Lavender Brown, I've asked you once already, turn off the fucking light!" Hermione hissed at her. Lavender glanced once more at her reflection fixed a piece of hair and went to bed. Tomorrow, Lavender thought to herself, I'll try and get an answer.

Harry looked around his Charms class, searching for tiny Professor Flitwick. His eyes passed over Hermione and stopped. He stared at her for a few short seconds before standing up and dragging her out of the room.

"Oh, not now Harry. I need to finish my paper for potions and I haven't mastered the pronunciation of the next charm we're going to learn and on top of all that I have…"

Harry just kept walking; he pulled her towards a place where he knew they wouldn't find anyone having sex. He broke into a run for the last little bit. He reached his hand forwards and opened the door.

"OH MY GOD!" Hermione screamed when she saw two figures on a table.

"Professor Snape, Professor Trelawney! I am so sorry, we'll just be leaving and, umm… let you get back to your business" Hermione said quickly, but before she could close the door completely she heard Mme Hooch's voice call out.

"10 points from Gryffindor Miss Granger, you forgot me"

Ron glanced up from his essay to watch Harry and Hermione walk into Charms late with looks of absolute disgust on their faces.

"What? Did you walk in on my brothers again?"

"No, not them." Hermione said sitting down next to him.

"Who than?"

"Professor Snape, having a three way with Trelawney and Hooch." Harry answered with a shiver.

"Holy cow!" Ron said amazed. "I never would have guessed. I mean maybe McGonnagal and Dumbledore, but not Snape, Trelawney and Hooch."

"Ya"

"Possibly Snape and Sinistra, but isn't she dating Professor Victor?" Ron asked Hermione.

"I don't think so."

Harry looked disgusted. "Can we please move on?"

"Ya sure. How come you and Hermione keep walking in on people having sex?"


	3. Chapter Three: Forbiddeb 'Friends'

Hogwarts: **Forbidden 'Friends'**

"I'm hungry" Goyle grunted in agreement with Crabbe. Draco just stared; 10 minutes ago they had been eating supper in the Great Hall and the two of them had had 7 helpings of everything. He shook his head and got up to leave. He took little walks by himself a lot lately. Once he dragged Blaize with him so he could have someone to talk to, but all that girl thinks about is… well they didn't get much talking done.

Draco rounded the corner to the library. His feet seemed to know their way around the school now. He wandered over to his favourite section, and settled into one of the chairs with the first book he grabbed, 'Passionate Trousers'.

A girl's voice whispered in his ear. "Never thought of you as the lovey-dovey type, Malfoy."

"What the?" Draco turned around to find himself face to face with Lavender. "What do you want?"

"I had some questions I wanted answered?" she said simply. He just stared at her as she walked around the chair and sat down on the table in front of him.

"Like what?"

"Like why you were staring at me the other morning in the Great Hall?"

"I don't know what you're talking about" he said turning back to his book.

"Ya you do." He turned back to her now. "Don't mess with me Malfoy, my father taught me dark magic too you know, and I will force you to speak if you don't tell me now!" a smile cracked on her face. He turned the page of his book and began to read it again.

Her smile faded quickly. Draco always got a kick out of watching people get pissed off at him.

"Verite"

"Draco suddenly felt like two giant knives were being ripped from his chest. She was performing an incantation version of the Veritaserm potion. He gasped out loud.

"Now, Malfoy. This is a test, tell me your middle name." she said setting down her wand.

Draco felt his mouth move on its own, "Thomas. After Lord Voldemort. My father picked it"

Lavenders lips curled again as she got an idea. "Hey Malfoy" she said tauntingly. "Have you ever had sex?"

Draco's eyes widened as his lips began to move again. "Yes"

"Ooooo! With who, how many times, did you like it, oh my gosh details please!" she said sitting up straight and leaning forwards.

Draco tried to stop himself, but the pain got stringer the more you tried to withstand it. Giving up he spilled his love life to her. "Blaize, Pansy, Lisa, Mandy, Brooke, Ginny, Margot…"

"God, you get around don't you. Who was the best?"

"Brooke"

"Awww, did you love her?"

"What the fuck does this have to do with you yesterday?"

"Sorry, why were you staring at me yesterday?"

"Because you're beautiful, and your conversation was interesting (she snorted) but mostly because I've always been interested in you"

Lavender looked shocked. "Deverite" Draco was pale, very pale. He started to massage his chest. He glanced up. Lavender was still there, he had been sure that she would have tan away, disgusted. Suddenly she leaned forwards and kissed him. Draco felt his arms grab at her and pull her towards him so she was sitting on his lap. He hands wrapped around his neck, he cupped her chin in his and kissed her too. He felt something he had never felt before, something he wasn't sure he would ever feel again. Lavender relaxed and kissed harder. Draco tried to take in every detail of the moment. Her warm, soft lips against his, her heart beating wildly against his chest.

Suddenly something hard hit him over the head. In the next second Lavender was pulled from his grasp. The room was spinning, he was hit again. He heard someone yelling, and then was hit again.

"Dean let go of me! Seamus stop1 STOP!" Her voice came closer as Seamus stopped hitting him with the book.

"Are you okay, did he hurt you? Seamus asked her.

"No he didn't, he didn't do anything to me Seamus" Lavender said crying.

"We saw him kiss you lave…"

"I kissed him!"

"Why?" Dean asked.

"Because he… oh just never mind1" she cried running out of the library.

Seamus rounded on Draco. "If I ever catch you near my girl again…"

"Last I heard she wasn't your girl anymore" Draco said standing up, where were Crabbe and Goyle when you needed them? He thought to himself.

"Shut it Malfoy. Just keep your grabby hands off!" Seamus snapped.

"Shssssss!" the librarian, Mme Pince, was eyeing them from her desk.

"Got it?" Seamus hissed at him as he passed.

"Go to hell Finnigan" Draco said to himself. Maybe he'd see her again sometime, and possibly not end up with a giant bump on the top of his head.

Luna hurried into the open classroom. She closed the door softly, and then turned to come face to face with a young boy, just a couple years older than her.

"Hey" He said softly. "You ready?"

"Ya" she said smiling. "You do realize that if we get caught, we're facing expulsion? Right?"

"That's what makes doing it here the best place possible" he whispered in her ear, as he pealed off her uniform.

She giggles; his touch was cold to her skin. She watched him take off his own clothes and take her hand. He pulled her close to him, reached over and turned on some music. They slow danced to her favourite song. As soon as it ended he lifted her onto a desk and got up next to her, and just stared at her for a few seconds.

"Are you sure you want this?" he asked her. She nodded. "Okay" he said.

Luna moaned as he entered.


	4. Chapter Four: Bite Me

Hogwarts: **Bite Me**

Ron woke with a start.

"Hey Ronald McDonald!" Harry called from his own bed.

"Who the hell is Ronald McDonald?"

"A gay ass restaurant mascot from the United States, he's a clown. It's my personal belief that the man playing the big footed freak had to go to counselling and is terrified of burgers and fries" Harry said laughing.

"You're in a good mood today. What's happening?"

"The 4th year and up ball is coming up and I plan on asking Hermione"

"Really? Who should I take?"

"Padma?"

"No"

"Parvati?"

"I suppose, except she reminds me too much of her sister"

"Lavender?"

"Seamus."

"Not unless you're gay"

"Shut up"

"Luna?"

"Luna… no"

"Millicent Bulstrode?"

"Are you trying to KILL me?"

"Fine you pick"

"Hannah Abbot?

"Ernie's"

"Susan Bones?"

"Justin's"

Mandy Brocklehurst?"

"She's hot"

"I know"

"No"

"Thanks a lot ass hole, Brittany Moon?"

"You could try"

"Sally-Anne Perks?"

"Ya"

"No!"

"You suggested her"

"Lisa Turpin?"

"She wouldn't go for you"

"I'll go with Mandy or Lisa; in fact I'll go ask right now!"

Hermione watched eagerly for Harry. The ball was posted this morning and he was probably going to ask her.

"Hermione want to buy a skiving snack box?"

"No" She felt someone kiss her cheek. "Oh hi Harry!"

"Hey, Hermione will you…" but Ron cut him off.

"No" he said in a displeased tone. "They both said no!"

"Who did?" Hermione asked him.

"Mandy and Lisa" he said through his arms.

"To what? Going to the ball with you? Well I would too"

"Ron lifted his head and gave her a dirty look.

"I mean, they have brains, and no one in their right minds would go with Ron"

"Why not?" Harry asked her.

"Look at him! He isn't exactly eye candy, he doesn't dance! Balls are a big thing in a girls life!"

"Hermione!" Fred said suddenly. "I never knew you felt that way. Is Harry not giving you the satisfaction that you need? Cause for a low, low price of 20 sickles you can buy one of our male hookers"

"FRED, THAT'S DISCUSTIND!" Harry spat.

"You could buy Charlie"

"Sold!" Hermione said standing up.

"Harry this is getting ridiculous!" Hermione said as they headed towards the Astrology tower.

Harry put his finger to his lips and pulled open the tower door.

"Holy shit!" Harry cried slamming he door.

"What? Who was it?" Hermione asked him eagerly.

"Harry motioned for her to look for herself. She stepped past him and pulled the door back open. There in the middle of the floor were Crabbe and Goyle.

3


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